July 3, 2012 by Zack
Seth MacFarlane is currently the King of Comedy with successful shows like “Family Guy” and the spin-off “The Cleveland Show”. I don’t really understand it, but he’s become the new Mike Judge; and as such, has grown into the world of movies with his directorial debut “Ted”, which he also co-wrote and serves as the voice of the co-star, a talking teddy bear.
The other star is Mark Wahlberg, who does a fine duty as an actor by playing John, a guy who for 75% of the film, is basically talking to himself (until the magic of post production added the ‘Ted’ effects). I always give actors a lot more credit when they share the screen with special effects: Bob Hoskins in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” and anyone talking to Smeagol in the “Lord of the Rings” films to name a few examples. Wahlberg is very good here, and very believable, as a character who just can’t grow up because he’s lived his entire life since 7 years old clinging to his teddy bear as his best friend.
But there’s a snag in his relationship because he’s in love with a woman whom he’s been with for 4 years, Lori (played by Mila Kunis), and she’s tired of Teddy’s antics and wants John to grow up and move on. Now, I’d like to pause here to stress that these two have been together for 4 years, and live together with this talking teddy bear. How any woman would want to stay with a guy that long, and live with him in this situation, is beyond me. And I really couldn’t buy their relationship because it was too distracting to keep thinking that on a daily basis, John is with this teddy bear, talking to it, playing with it, and smoking weed with it. Now, if this movie wasn’t based in reality and had more of a John Waters feel to it, I could buy it. I always have room for surreality. And I was trying my hardest to believe this story. But because MacFarlane chose to make Teddy real, and a small celebrity for a few years, we are to believe that this is the real world (specifically, Boston), and Teddy’s as real as any living character. It’s also uncomfortably cutesy at times, and strangely unromantic.
The only relationship that does work is Teddy and John, and as I said, I heavily credit Wahlberg for this. He has this unassuming genuine demeanor that instantly works when he does characters like this. Much like his enthusiastic weirdo in “I Heart Huckabees” or his infectious charismatic Dirk Diggler in “Boogie Nights”, he’s right at home with this character of John, the manchild who just can’t grow up. Teddy also works because MacFarlane commands the voice, and rings true. When Teddy talks, most of the time, we laugh. Not because we can’t believe he’s a talking teddy bear–but he does have a lot of funny things to say. Probably the best scene is the “name” scene between the two of them, when John rattles off white trash women names, and finally realizes that there may be a “Lynne” attached.
Another relationship that I was actually very intrigued by, but disappointed with, was a promising character named Donny (Giovanni Ribisi, who devours this role with utmost psychotic joy). Donny has had an unhealthy obsession with Teddy since learning about him when he was younger, and Teddy was a national phenomenon, appearing on shows like Johnny Carson. Donny now also has a son, and wants to steal Teddy to give to his son, because he wants his son to experience the friendship he never had with Teddy. Going back briefly to John Waters, this probably would have been the central narrative if it were directed by him.
But it is directed by MacFarlane, who insists on cramming his stories with as many 80’s references as he possibly can, to prove I guess that he really knows his 80’s, and while some of it’s cute (the “Airplane!” reference made me smile), it does get a little tiresome after a while. The one that worked the best, that also fit with the story’s plot, was “Flash Gordon”. That probably brought the biggest laughs of the whole movie. But then there were jokes that were far too explained, jokes that were obvious references that fell flat, and then jokes that just didn’t work at all. In a comedy that overall works, you can always forgive that. The brothers Zucker and brothers Farrelly are great examples of guys who made enough big laughs that you could forgive the groan-induced jokes. But i don’t think MacFarlane has mastered comedy the way that those guys did. I think he’s still searching for his true voice. He hides behind a lot of jokey material, and sometimes almost seems unsure of how to approach a joke, so he just throws a reference out to make people appreciate his knowledge. I wish he’d just go for it, rather than play down to his crowd and fans, and truly push the envelope.
As it stands, this film really doesn’t push new boundaries. Yes, it’s funny. Yes, it is acceptably predictable. But something is really missing here, and I think it’s just that MacFarlane tries to play it both ways: a stoner comedy and a surrealistic comedy, and heartwarming buddy picture. Only half of it works, and the other half just falls flat.
I also didn’t really care for the narration by Patrick Stewart. Although I thought the choice was excellent, and some of the early narration is funny, he narrates with so much smirk in his voice, that it immediately kills the irony. If he’d played it straight, and given his usual strong but charmingly British execution, it would’ve been hilarious. But that would be too subtle for MacFarlane, I suppose.
I would say overall if you’re looking to get out of the heat for 2 hours and have a few laughs, this will not disappoint. But for me, I just found too many inconsistencies and not enough texture underneath that promising coat of fur.